Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
