All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I will be naked everywhere
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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