Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
