is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize