I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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