RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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