I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
