If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
