STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
