You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The Olympian is in my bed
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
