Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i believe in u and ur pee
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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