You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
