addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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