he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
