I'm gonna have a badass scar
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
