Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
