Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
