I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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