she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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