Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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