was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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