he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize