i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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