Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
this just has baby written all over it
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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