I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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