She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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