Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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