Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We have started to decorate penises.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
