and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
