I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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