like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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