Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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