no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
