It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
