I wish my penis had an off switch
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
