marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just invented taco cereal.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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