A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
