you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so let's talk penis.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
