do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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