Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
