I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
