You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
