Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
