no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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