There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
