Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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