just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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