...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
