i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I had to cum in my sink.
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