You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
