She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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