Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
