Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
