Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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