Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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