SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
