i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
