I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
