I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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