HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
